I was sitting in the back seat of my car, in Brock's(my boyfriend) driveway. It's what we always did. Something had happened with my step dad the night before and it was heavy on my heart. Sitting with a man who loved me for me, holding this dark secret of being some sex toy, it was killing me. Brock could tell something was wrong. I wanted so badly to keep it hidden so he wouldn't know he was sharing his girl with an old man. I just knew he would dump me. Despite my fear, I confided in him. He held me to his chest and caressed my hair. I never felt more safe in my entire life than in his arms at that very moment. I asked him to please never tell anyone, and that I would deal with it myself.
Men never listen. lol. He told his aunt, who worked at the hospital. They tried and tried to get me to report it, but I knew what I would have to go through if I did. I knew the hell I would endure. For the first time in my life, my mama was happy. She had a man who put her in a nice home, cared for her, gave her everything her heart could desire. Why and how could I ever mess that up? She's my mama. She was the only constant thing through my life. Why would I purposely hurt her?
I was on the phone with Brock in my room when my step dad popped his head through the door. "I'll be out in the motorcycle building, waiting." I hung up the phone, checked to make sure my mama was in her room, and headed out the back door, down to the building. Oh, I forgot to mention, he had a vasectomy so he wouldn't get me pregnant. Genius right? I walked in the door to get it over with so I could wash the dirty away quicker. It always started with kissing. He had the worst breath ever!!!!! After he got worked up, I had to sit on a desk while he penetrated me over and over and over. He kept wet wipes and a towel in there for easy clean up. He finished and I got out of there in record time. I jumped in the shower to wash away the dirty. No matter how hard I scrubbed, I couldn't wash it away. I had promised Brock that I was not going to have sex with him. I broke my promise to him. I broke a promise to the one person in the world that truly loved me for me. I was so ashamed of who I was and what I did. I called Brock back.
I couldn't talk much. All I remember being able to say was that it happened again. Somehow he and his aunt, convinced me to go to the hospital for a rape kit. I grabbed the keys to my car, went in Mama and stepdad's bedroom and told them I was going to the store to buy a Pepsi. Instead, I went to Brock's house. We waited on his aunt to get ready for work then heading to Spartanburg Regional Medical Center. Because his aunt was an employee, she knew where to take me. Her and her friend went above and beyond to make me as comfortable as possible. They let Brock stay by my side as much as possible. It was just as hard as I imagine plus some. I wasn't alone anymore. I had Brock, and Candi(Brock's aunt), and Shannon(Candi's friend). For the first time in my life, I WASN'T ALONE!!!! while I was heartbroken to have ripped up yet another family/home, I was relived to finally have someone on my side. I was relived to finally be safe. Brock is/was my savior.
My daddy was able to sign his parental rights away and walk away with no charges pressed. My brother was sent to a correctional home where he went through extensive therapy. My uncle was given 18 months in jail and 5 years of probation. While on probation, he re offended his own biological son. My step dad was sentenced to 10 years suspended to 5 because of his exemplary military background. He served 85% of that and is now out on probation.
Has justice been served? HELL NO!!!!! My uncle is now living with his wife and 2 children. Really? He can molest his child then go back home to a different family he created with another woman? My step dad is living 1.4 miles away from me. I could run into him at a red light, is that fair? NO!!!!!!
This is my story, minus a few gory details. This is the start of my journey to make a difference. I want to push for preventative programs to help our children learn to better protect themselves in situations like these, and push for harsher sentencing for the offenders. DUI laws change. Murder laws can change. Why can't sexual abuse laws?
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